In a culture which connects male empowerment with virility and sexual prowess, men often measure themselves against relentless and unrealistic portrayals of male virility found in movies, magazines, and social media. Yet most men experience a gradual decline in sexual interest as they age, and as they reach different stages in their lives and in their relationships.
As you may already know, testosterone levels begin to decline as you age, and as a result, your sex drive may decrease. While testosterone isn't the only driver of the male libido, low testosterone can lead to erectile dysfunction, and both of these conditions can impact your desire for sex. Your urologist will be particularly adept at pinpointing and treating low testosterone, if it is a problem.
Hormones aside, there are other causes of a waning libido. Mental, emotional, and physical components all matter here. If your desire for sex is less than you feel is ideal, ask yourself these five questions to get on your way to having a sex life you love.
Are You Stressed and Overwhelmed?
Today’s man has a lot on his plate: work, home, spouse, kids, and community obligations may leave you with too few hours in the day to manage it all. Under this amount of stress, it can be hard to find time to have sex - let alone find the energy to feel aroused when you are exhausted. Take some time to think about what factors may be affecting your desire for sex.
A therapist, personal coach, your doctor, or a good friend can help you re-prioritize and problem-solve to alleviate some of your exhaustion and stress. It’s amazing what a little sleep and time to breathe can do for your sex life.
Is Your Relationship Working?
Relationship issues can have everything to do with loss of libido. There are many issues couples face on a daily basis: stress and exhaustion can make it difficult to find time to nurture a relationship. Communication issues and managing different sexual appetites can adversely affect you desire for sex. Over time, anger and unresolved feelings can wreak havoc on a couple’s intimate relationship. With that much stress, it is no wonder that you are not often “in the mood.”
A good therapist or couples counselor can be invaluable in addressing some of the underlying issues which adversely affect your sex drive.
Are You Downplaying Your Blue Mood?
Sexual interest has a lot to do with feeling good about yourself, your body, and your lifestyle. Occasional feelings of dissatisfaction or sadness are normal, but feeling blue more often than not can put a real damper on not only your libido, but your ability to live a meaningful life. You may be depressed if you have been feeling hopeless and sad for a long time.
Talk to your doctor about these strong feelings: your doctor may recommend psychological counseling or antidepressants which may help alleviate symptoms of depression.
Do You Crave Drugs or Alcohol More Than Sex?
Alcohol and Drug use can reduce your sex drive. Sometimes the compulsion for drugs and alcohol can be so intense that it replaces your desire for sex. Some men find alcohol or drugs to be a sexual stimulant. Stimulant use can be a real “downer” once the effects of alcohol or drugs wear off, and your sex drive can suffer too. Some medications have a similar effect to drugs and alcohol in depressing sexual interest.
Talk to your doctor about how drug and alcohol use or your medications may be affecting your libido.
Do You Feel Good About Yourself and Your Body?
Men who struggle with diseases such as obesity, cardiovascular disease, and diabetes often struggle with the physical ramifications of these diseases and body image. If you are not feeling your best, your sex drive will likely be affected. Medications for chronic or acute illness can also suppress your sex drive.
Regular visits with your doctor and an emphasis on healthy lifestyle can help you be at your physical best, and can help you manage illnesses when they do occur. Work with your doctor to manage any medications which may be suppressing your sex drive.
Low libido does not have to be distressing. Getting to the root of your symptoms can help treat low libido at its source. Healthy lifestyle changes, and perhaps the help of a urologist, or a good therapist or life advocate can do wonders for your flagging libido, self-esteem, and overall well-being.